When I chose my topic for this blog assignment, I chose terminal illness in middle adulthood because I wanted to tell my neighbor's story about how his life has evolved while dealing with terminal illness. I was supposed to interview him throughout the semester and when I asked him for his permission to do so he agreed, even agreeing to allow me to use his real name. However, this week he became ill and will be unable to do the interview with me so I decided to keep the same topic but broaden it some to include other stories as well as facts about terminal illness in middle adulthood.
Although terminal illness has to be an absolute horrible experience for anyone to go through, I wonder if it is any harder for middle aged adults. I do not want to come across like I think less of young people or elderly people with terminal illness because that is not the case, but for the purpose of this assignment, I am concentrating on middle adulthood. I have been thinking a lot about how it would be to have the responsibilities that most do in middle adulthood and discover you had a terminal illness. I say this because, like my neighbor, they may know what living life completely healthy is like. They most probably have a family at that age with a spouse and children that have depended on them. They may have worked and supported their family from the beginning and then not be able to anymore. They are responsible for so much and have to think about everyone they are leaving behind and the circumstances in which it is occurring. I think it would be bad enough to deal with the fact that you have a terminal illness, but having to watch your family hurt for you and grieve over you would make it much worse.
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3 comments:
I agree with you completly. How difficult it would be for someone to know they are leaving behind so many responsibilites. I can't imagine to know how I might feel if I was told at this moment I only had a year to live. I have so many people that depend on me for so many things. Yes, they would manage but it would just make it more difficult for me to accept leaving this world. I have a friend that was diagnosed with cancer a year ago and she could pass any day. She was still working, has a husband, a child in college and grandchildren she helped care for. When she was first diagnosed the doctor told her there was nothing they could do, she went to two other doctors before she found one that would treat her. She fought the battle for a year, much longer than the first doctor expected her to be able to fight, and has finally lost. I know why she wanted to fight. It was because she did not feel like she was done on this earth yet. I would do the same.
I can not imagine having someone deal my fate to me. Please excuse me sir, you have an incurable disease, and oh by the way six months to live, too. What do you do when you are victimized by this? Do you set out and make a checklist of all the good bys you need to do and all the bills you need to make current. I watched the devastation and reminisce of what cancer does to a love one over the course of a year, and it was a big bag of mixed emotions. The love she had for me and the love I had for her never wavered, and I hold on to her love until this day. There is simply no prototype for how you are to respond during a show stopping moment as a terminal illness. The only guarantee in life is that death shall follow, and knowing how does not make it any easier.
This topic is kinda close to the situation that I find myself in. My husband is 32 so he is just at the age of middle adulthood. My husband has a disorder called I.G.A.N. witch is a genetic kidney disorder. I knew this when I married him but even knowing that he whould have a hard life and need alot of medical care I still choose to love him and marry him. This was to the dismay of many of my friends who could not understand why I would marry a man who could die with in the first ten years of marriage. Since we have been married (keep in mind it has not even been two years), we have gone to the ER twice, had to see a cardiologist for heart problems, seen a gastroeneroligist for stomach problems, and now we are sceduled to see an endocronologist and a neurologist (I may have spelled some of those wrong sorry). This is just with in the first year and a half. We are lucky that his kidneys are doing well and his levels are stabilized but as you can tell there are still many other health conditions plus we are having to see the last two doctors named here shortly to find out about a serious problem that he has been having for the last six months. I spend most of my time calling or going to the doctor with my husband. I can relate to this subject even though my husband is not currently terminal. I live day to day worried about what health problem will be next. I face the major chance that due to all of his problems that I may be a widow before I turn 40. It is extreamly hard to think of what my life would be like with out him. Because of his health problems we have had serious infertility issues and I may have to give up my dream of one day having a child. The sacrafice that people choose to make due to loving someone with a serious or terminal illness takes a huge sacrifice from these individuals. My heart goes out to anybody living in the same conditions as I am.
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